Clean, kid-friendly Halloween jokes perfect for classrooms, lunchboxes, or a spooky-fun family night at home. Parents and teachers — share these Halloween jokes for kids to cue instant giggles ... or groans.
🦴 Bone-Tickling Skeleton Jokes
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with!
- What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper.
- What’s a skeleton’s favorite snack? Spare ribs.
- What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room? The living room.
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🧙♀️ Witches, Wizards & Spells
- What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese.
- What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling!
- What kind of makeup do witches wear? Mas-scare-a.
- How do monsters tell their future? They read their horrorscopes.
🧛 Vampire Vibes & Monster Mayhem
- Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
- What kind of dog does Dracula have? A bloodhound.
- Why do vampires seem sick all the time? They’re always coffin.
- Why did the zombie skip school? He felt rotten.
👻 Ghoulishly Good Ghost Jokes
- Why don’t ghosts like rain? It dampens their spirits.
- What room does a ghost not need? A living room.
- What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
- How does a ghost unlock a door? With a spoo-key!
- What kind of mistakes do ghosts make? Boo-boos!
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🎃 Pumpkin Patch Puns
- How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.
- Why do pumpkins sit on porches? They don’t have the guts to go inside.
- What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash!
- What do you call a pumpkin that tells jokes? A pun-kin!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
🕸️ Creepy-Crawly Critters
- What do you call two spiders that just got married? Newlywebs.
- What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon? A sour-puss.
- What did one bat say to the other? “Let’s hang out!”
More Halloween Fun You’ll Love
Keep the spooky-silly vibes going:
- Want to Boo Your Neighbors? Printable + 9 Boo Basket Ideas Inside
- The Ultimate Guide to the Scariest Haunted Houses in Every U.S. State
- Guess The Halloween Movie: Emoji Edition!
💌 Like this list of Halloween jokes?
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🧻 Mummy Business
- Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll unwind.
- Why did the mummy call the doctor? He was feeling all wrapped up.
- What kind of music do mummies love? Wrap music.
 Sergeeva | Canva |
🍭 Silly Spooky Surprises
- Why did the ghost bring toilet paper to the party? He was a party pooper.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I-scream!
- Why did the scarecrow go to therapy? He felt a little corn-fused!
Share the laughs! Print these for lunchboxes, use one a day in class, or read a few at your Halloween party.
👻 These jokes were dreamed up with a little help from ChatGPT — no ghosts or goblins were harmed in the making.
